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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Customer Service? I Don't Buy It

I worked in retail and I waitressed. I know that in general, customers are a royal pain in the ass. But if they're not, don't act like you're doing them a favor by helping them. Or as I have gotten, act like they're inconveniencing you with their presence.

Yes, you need to get your shelves stocked. Must you block the whole aisle to do it? Do you have to push past me to get back to it? Is it more important than selling the stuff? Though I guess that would save you having to do it again.

I had a fellow in a grocery store tell me my daughter needed to stop touching the doors to the freezer section because he had just cleaned them. Okay...So once they're cleaned, they're not supposed to be touched? Kind of hard to get the food out that way.

I get that servers in a restaurant get busy...but if we're your only table, my glass is dry and I can see you standing at the counter chatting, then that's a horse of a different color.

And this disturbing outsourcing trend. Let's take a company based in America and outsource all customer service to India and hand them a script that helps no one. Add in a few levels of "supervisors", none of whom have the ability to think or the power to correct your issue, and you get a CF beyond all imagining.

But there's also the American customer service...Comcast is a prime example. I plan to post my entire sad tale of the torture I suffered under their evil and incompetent hands, but the short story is their customer service people can't do anything, and you can't ever talk to a supervisor...they're supposed to call you, but they don't. If something breaks, they blame it on you and charge you for service.

I now have Verizon FIOS, and I love it. Mainly because the internet actually works, and when it doesn't, they fix it without trying to blame it on me. Thanks, Ed!

While customer service is a crap job, you all don't have to make it worse for yourself by pissing off the people who aren't morons. Peace out!

Monday, January 11, 2010

I am NOT a Fire Hydrant!

Guest Bitch written by “Bitch X”

There is a reason an ex is an ex. But sometimes it’s not good enough that you are no longer with someone. Sometimes it seems like no matter what happens, this person seems to be under the mistaken impression that he still has a say in what goes on in your life. Whom you hang out with, who your friends are, etc. Hello! You are an EX! It becomes even more infuriating when the other party was the one who decided to end things but still seems determined to continue to mark you as his territory.
We aren’t together anymore. This means you don’t get to whine to me or complain that I’m not still catering to your every desire the way I did—or attempted to do—when we were together. This means I don’t have to listen to you being a jerk, and I will tell you so. This also means that you don’t get to ignore my questions anymore or just cause you say you will “let me know” that I will allow the topic to drop!
Do not tell me to just trust you. You lost the privilege of my trust long ago and just because you now try to claim to be worth of it, doesn’t mean I agree.
It also
means that who I chose to be friends with is MY business, not yours. And don’t try to threaten me over who I choose to hang out with. It just shows you are being petty and makes me think that you regret that we aren’t together anymore. Oh well. I’m happier and that’s all that matters TO ME.
Or what about the flip side of that? When you have a guy you’re dating who says that there isn’t anything serious going on. There’s nothing serious, and both of you can see other people, but if you – God Forbid – DARE to flirt with another member of the opposite sex, he’s right there making sure people know that you are together…so to speak.
What about when he refuses to admit that there is something more between you, but a lot of his friends assume you are a couple because of the way he marks you as his territory when you are out together?
In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with someone marking me as their “territory”. I’m guilty of it myself—most people are, whether they realize it or not. It’s in the way you grab your sweetie’s hand cause you think another person is paying too much attention to him/her. Or how you lean just a little closer, giving a very public display of affection for all to watch so they can know you two are together. There’s nothing wrong with any of that.
But seriously people, make sure you have the right to mark the territory before you do! This will help you to avoid many unpleasant scenes.

Entitlement is A One-Way Street

I would love to find out where you can gain a sense of entitlement. Then I to can ignore everything from laws to basic common courtesy and not feel guilty about it.

For instance...

The sidewalk is a public use area, and people need to be able to walk on it. So stop blocking it with your personal stuff.

There's a leash law and pooper scooper rule...do it. Also, you may be able to tune out your barking dog at 2 am, but the rest of us can't.

A turn signal indicates to the driver behind you ahead of time that you plan to make a turn, so it needs to be on ahead of time. You do not drive along merrily, get to the stop, suddenly slam on your brakes, flip on the signal, then turn. Though it seems they're optional in Virginia. I'll probably go on a full rant about most of these subjects in detail later.

You gave birth to your children. You are the one responsible for them. Not store clerks, not waitresses, not flight attendants, not handy adults who are taking their own kids to the park. You want a break, pay for a babysitter. Not everyone has to love your kids.

A flip side to that: some kids do behave and are watched over by their parents. Just because a baby enters a plane or a child a restaurant does not mean your experience will be ruined, so refrain from the put-upon sighs and rude comments. Also if I breastfeed in a booth, you can't see anything anyway, so STFU.

If you're talking loudly into a cell phone in a public area, it is no longer a private call. Move somewhere private or refrain from glaring at people who really don't care about your call and just want their damned latte.

The arrows are painted on the parking lots for a reason. This is especially annoying at an elementary school, where you have the Parent Convoy going around the loop. Everyone else is trying to get out, and one Entitlemoo swings in late and goes in the wrong way, always with the "what's wrong with you all" expression. And heads up...putting your hazards on doesn't change the fact that you're parked when you're there for an hour. The person you blocked in certainly doesn't see the difference, and neither will the tow company they call.

Lose the constipated look. Judge not, lest ye be judged. Remember that.

Self-gratification masquerading as ridiculous involvement in your children's school and activities doesn't count as parenting. So don't break your arm patting yourself on the back for being a fabulous parent when because you're on a bazillion committees, you haven't spent more than twenty minutes a day actually being with your kids, or make snide remarks about people who don't give back to the community. At least I know what my kid looks like.

There...that was fun. Off to other things...

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Charmin and their Bear Abuse Ads

I hate the Charmin ads with the bears. It's sick enough that the Mommy Dearest bear limits TP usage and inspects her son's butt for fuzzies, but when the coach does it, well, that's a whole new episode of Law and Order: SVU. Get a new marketing scheme.

While we're on the subject of bad marketing:

The Burger King mascot is terrifying. Please make him go away.

The Five dollar footlong guest spots are old. Move on.

The idea is to sell people things, right?

It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses Their Life...

I'm starting this blog to bitch. Yep, that's pretty much it. I want to join the masses who utilize the internet to let off steam about things that really tick me off. With luck, there will be less bodies to bury.